With the latest EU ruling that Apple’s tax arrangements with Ireland were illegal because every other business paid 12% compared to their 0.005%; there are rumours that Nicola Sturgeon is to reduce corporation tax across the whole of Scotland to 0.005% to lure the IT giant north of the border.
“The EU ruling imposed such a massive penalty in order to bring the tax paid up to the same level as everybody else,” one SNP supporter told us over a few whiskeys.
“So the plan is to reduce corporation tax for everybody. That way the EU can’t complain when we join them after leaving the UK.”
“Nicola’s even offered to lend them her garage until they’ve found business premises.”
The money lost by doing this can be made up from revenue from a magic salt pot which is rumoured to be at the bottom of the sea just outside Edinburgh and which is responsible for the sea being salty.