Scottish farmers rush out to buy prize Bulls to secure CAP payments

Scottish Farmers who still haven’t received their EU subsidies have a new trick up their sleeve to grease the CAP system cogs.

One farmer explained the process in simple steps:

  • buy a prize bull
  • win a prize at the Turriff Show 
  •  when Fergus Ewing turns up to give you your £100 cheque shake his hand firmly and say “You don’t happen to have my feckin CAP payment as well do you old bean?”

Apparently it works a treat.

Now all we’ve got to do is wait for Scottish Government’s one and only expert to come back from his holiday on August 29th and we can finally get paid.


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