People of Scotland reported bright lights in the sky last night that were accompanied by a loud bang.
Scientists have now managed to decode the microwave frequency transmissions that appeared to travel backwards and forwards around the time of the nocturnal encounter between the upper atmosphere and a point in Edinburgh about 100m from a tram stop.
It now appears that the nocturnal event, far from being an asteroid, was a super-intelligent life form that had travelled from the other side of the galaxy and was offering to fix the CAP system for rural payments.
Scientists have translated the whole intercept and it appears that the Scottish Government refused to accept this interstellar bailout because the aliens refused to come through Spectromax Solutions – the agency owned by the ex-Delivery Director.
One Scientist told us, “There was a lot of name calling and then the Scottish Government told the super-intelligent life form that the Government weren’t interested in their help, even if it was free and super-intelligent, because they refused to come through Spectromax Solutions and because they couldn’t speak Tamil and so wouldn’t be able to communicate with the rest of the team!”
When approached for comment a spokeswomen from Scottish Government said they had no records of any intelligent life forms on the CAP system project.