Dom’s Diary – 18/6/2015 – Blockhead tells farmers they’re not getting their money

Wow it’s been a long time since my last diary entry but hey guys I’m back now. Did you miss me?

Well, well, well – we did it. 22000 SAFs officially received – agreed nearly half of them were on paper but hey – we received them – so the IT system that the farmers didn’t dare to use is a roaring success.

I see Blockhead has been in the press again telling everybody what a wonderful job we did – and how difficult it was to create a web site with a form on it that could save data into a database – and then he tells the farmers that they’re not getting paid. Classic!

Well I am guys. I am getting paid. I am getting paid mega bucks. Maybe I should start loan sharking to farmers as a sideline cos that’s the only way you’re gonna see any money.

Anyway – check this out http://www.cgatechnology.com/irl-youngest-ios-app-developer-in-eu/. Some 14 year old kid sets up a business writing computer games and he’s minting it. One 14 year old kid on his own.

Meanwhile, Scottish Government has 300 of us creating a website with a form on it – and I’m minting it too. Why get paid for just one person when you can get paid for 300 lol.

The Big Guy’s finally gone now. We blamed everything on him and Shaker has taken his place. Told you I’d take over. Ok, this police investigation is a bit of a pain – but hey – they haven’t got the staff to police this kind of stuff and so we’re safe as houses with our little Visa escapades. Would you believe it, but the Home Office has only got 3 people in the whole of Scotland to police Visa abuse. Talk about needle in a haystack.

That’s why they only go after Polish restaurants. Polish restaurants don’t have lawyers and the Home Office is anything for an easy ride.

Doesn’t matter now anyway cos I’ve scattered my seeds. There’s Tier 2 migrants working in DWP and HMRC and I’ve heard rumours that there’s even more working on Telecom systems, Airline systems and nearly all of the Banking systems.

Wonder how many are working at RBS? I see their computer systems are on their arse again. That stinks of Tier 2 visa abuse. Why have highly qualified UK workers ensuring your bank systems are in tip top condition when you can save some money by bringing in cheap Tier 2 Migrants to do the job instead – who cares about banking customers anyway – remember the old saying “Too big to fail, too big to regulate”.

Cheap, cheap, cheap. Come on RBS just admit it lol. Want some of my guys? I can write a batch process for you. It will need 300 Tier 2 migrants and cost you £200m but hey – that’s cheaper than employing UK workers and I’m sure I can make it worth your while.

I see David Cameron has been going on about Immigration in Prime Ministers Questions. Apparently he’s setting up a team to police immigration and it’s gonna be all 3 of the Home Office buffoons in Scotland and the other 3 from England. Nice work Cameron old boy – hey perhaps we can write your Immigration IT system for you too? Wouldn’t that be the ultimate – Tier 2 migrants writing the computer system to police Tier 2 migrants. Ha ha. Back door into that system anyone?

Let’s be honest we’ve now got back doors into most banking systems, most telecom systems, in fact nearly every computer system in the UK – hey we wrote them. Nothing is sacred – is it RBS? Ha ha.

Keep it cheap. Keep it cheap.

Oops – gotta go. Need to raise another invoice to Scottish Government for our roaring success.

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