The Scottish Government has set up a specialist Canine Division with a remit to recruit dogs that can be taught to write computer programs for the Scottish SAF project.
A Government spokesman told us that “as soon as we learned of a dog in Scotland that had been found driving a tractor, we decided that we could cut costs even further on the SAF project by employing Coding Canines. Furthermore, we did not think that this would result in a noticeable reduction in the quality of the existing system.”
“With dogs working for us, we can cut even more corners than we have done already . The new Canine Division will have staff working on the SAF project for literally no more than the cost of a tin of dog food and we can get the Management to take the dogs for a walk twice a day during which time they can get a progress report of how well the SAF system is coming along.”
When asked if the reduction in cost by using canines would reduce the bottom line cost of the whole project, the Scottish Government spokesman told us, “Of course not. Cheaper labour will simply allow our suppliers to increase their margins. The project will cost the taxpayer the same, but the suppliers will make more profit.”