Scottish Government – Denial


Hello. Hello. Is this thing on? Yes. Right good. Jenny take a memo and send it to that website, what’s it called. Scottish SAF? Isn’t that us? No. Oh, it’s a spoof. Right. Ok. I thought SAF was us? It is, but not that one! You mean there are two. Now I’m confused. There are THREE? Where did the third one come from? Italy? Well that can’t be us we’re Scotland aren’t we? Ok, I’m sorry, let’s start again. JENNY can you pop in, oh sorry, I mean can you take a memo – this thing is on right? Good.

The Scottish Government, that’s us isn’t it? Yes. Good. So as I was saying, the Scottish Government denies all knowledge of the Scottish SAF website – but what have we been paying for then? Oh, caps. But I had to buy my own cap – it’s blue. It’s got a picture of the Castle on it. Right ok, yes.

The Scottish Government denies everything on the Scottish SAF website. We do not have anybody called Napoleon or  Plug working for us – or Shrek – we’ve checked.

I thought Shrek was a cartoon? Ok, sorry, moving on. My daughter’s got a Shrek. Green thing – ugly.

We are NOT building a computer system. We’re not? We are? Which is it? We’re paying someone else! Ok, someone else is building a computer system. For us. Right. Someone else is building a computer system for us. For the farmers. For the farmers? Which is it for goodness sake? Is it for us or is it for the farmers? Oh, we’re paying for it, but the farmers will use it. This is complicated.

Someone else is building the SAF Computer system for the farmers and we’re paying for it and it all works fine. It does? So why was that farmer shouting on the phone? He was doing it wrong? Oh, I see. Complicated things, computers. Don’t use one myself.

Anyway, we deny everything on that site. It is not a true reflection of the Scottish Government or the SAF system and everything works fine. It’s been tested.

We do not have anybody called Dom working for us. We don’t? Who’s that guy with the big jacket then? I thought he was delivering something. Always on the phone. Oh, he doesn’t work for us, he works for somebody else. Why was he here then? Cos the people he works for work here. Do they? Do we charge them? We PAY them! Now I’m lost.

Ok, so the SAF project all works fine and we don’t have anybody working for Scottish Government called Dom. I was reading his diary yesterday. It’s quite funny.

Where did all those Indians come from?

Right. Did you get that Jenny. Send it to that website.


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