Dom’s Diary – December 5th, 2014 – Pinnicky Parky

What a great week.

Pinnicky Parky gone as Tech Lead – boy I so needed to get rid of his constant “this won’t work if we do it like this”, “this isn’t what the system is supposed to do”, “the system won’t be fit for purpose if we do it this way”, and my favourite “it hasn’t been tested properly” – Well test this Parky – “You’re fired!”

All the contractors are now living in fear of me and the Shoulder Tapper – especially when he wears his red shirt.  No more trouble from them either – they’re too scared to speak up if the system doesn’t work in case they get fired too.  I love contractors with mortgages and families – they’re so easy to manipulate and subjugate.

Got my adverts out.  130 staff in all for now. Spectromax you rule. Love to see the name up in lights like that. Getting lots of calls from agencies trying to place contractors but guess what – there’s a recruitment freeze for everybody except Spectromax.  I love being a Delivery Director.  Any CVs that come from anywhere other than Spectromax go straight in the bin.  28 days and I can tell UKBA that Spectromax couldn’t find anybody and it’s a green light to bring in people from India on Tier 2 Visas.  That way I can pay them feck all and keep the difference for my profit margin 🙂 UKBA really are a bunch of useless tossers – too lazy to get off their arses and do a proper job.  Thank you UKBA!!

Shoulder Tapper has been approving weekend work himself, again.  He’s not allowed to do that really.  It’s supposed to be an SG Manager, but hey – let him have his fun.  I need to keep him sweet for now cos he’s CGI and only CGI can sack CGI contractors.  I’ll butter his ego and keep him sweet so he can continue to sack the people I tell him to sack.  Sounds fair enough to me.  Anyway, Little Napoleon is SG and he’ll underwrite what Shoulder Tapper is saying if I tell him to 🙂

New team structures are out.  That’s caused absolute chaos cos the clueless feckwits I’ve got running the show now haven’t any idea what needs doing yet.  So here we are with 300 developers doing absolutely nothing and deadlines within days.  Still, if we miss the deadlines I can blame it on the developers I had fired, and who is gonna oppose me now.  SG managers kept silent by Little Napoleon, Pinnicky Parky gone and everybody else too scared to speak up.

And guess what – SG is still paying for my boys to do overtime; even though they haven’t been given anything to do.

I love being a Delivery Director

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